Single mom demands that her brother be the 'fun uncle' to her son, despite 2 paternal uncles offering to step up and do so: 'David needs all the support he can get since Bryan won’t be here'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Feb 15, 2025 8:00 PM EST

Single parents don't always get the help they need. Many single mothers and fathers provide perfectly well for all of their children's needs, but even the most competent among them need a little bit of assistance. It could be as simple as being a positive male figure in the life of a kid who doesn't have a dad or vice versa. While that is a nice thing to have, it's a lot of responsibility to put on someone who isn't a parent to a kid. They really have to want to commit to being a stable figure in the kids' lives. Otherwise, their involvement could cause more harm than good. Kids are sensitive to when adults aren't that fond of them, and you really have to like a kid (not just love them, shoutout to Fences by August Wilson) in order to become a positive parental-esque figure in their lives. 

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  • The mom in this story is trying to force her brother to be a surrogate fun father figure to her unborn baby son. Her baby daddy is incompetent and not in the picture, but his brothers have offered to help out and be strong male figures in her son's life. 

  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10468359168
    via Jonathan Borba

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02

    AITA For being upfront about the fact that I will not be doing things with my nephew or being the “fun uncle” since I don’t like kids and never agreed to be the “fun uncle?”

    My sister Lauren is pregnant with a boy who she is planning to name "David." Long story short, David's father Bryan is a loser and my sister is not going to be getting any help from him.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 03
    Lauren has been talking a lot about how a boy needs a father figure, David's going to look for mentorship in the wrong places. unless family steps up, and some more obvious statements that show she expects me to be the "fun uncle" type with David.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 04
    I don't want any confusion in the future, so I told Lauren upfront how I'm not going to be the "fun uncle" type or have any parental role with David. I'll be polite at any family events and send a gift for his birthday/xmas but that's it. It's not personal, I've just never liked kids, I find them annoying, and I don't want to ever be responsible for one.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 05
    Bryan's brother Andrew wants to be involved. He has two young kids who he wants David grow up with and have a strong relationship with the cousins. Our own brother George also wants to be involved. So I told Lauren how David has plenty of adult male figures without me.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 06
    Cheezburger Image 10468361472
    via Lucas Bordião

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 07
    Lauren launched into me saying that uncles still isn't the same as an actual father and David needs all the support he can get since Bryan won't be here. She accused me of flaking out on my own. bl_d.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 08
    I have my own life and wasn't going to be involved regardless of the situation with Bryan. I've always been upfront that I wasn't going beyond holiday gifts and other basic politeness. Besides, Andrew and George will be involved uncles, so I don't get why this pressure is on me.
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10468365568
    via Annie Spratt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 10
    Lauren argued that hosting him for a sleepover or taking him to a museum isn't asking the world. Realistically, one polite but distant uncle won't have any negative impact on a kid, and I can't be "flaking out" of a commitment that I never agreed to take in the first place, AITA?
    via u/NotTheFunUncle
  • 11
    LoveBeach8 NTA It's not nice of her to foist this responsibility upon you, knowing how you feel about it. Even if you love kids, it would be wrong of her to expect your involvement as she dictates.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 12
    Refuse to discuss the subject any longer with her. If she starts in, simply head her off at the pass by telling her something like "Lauren, this subject is now off limits. You have no right to dictate responsibilities to me regarding your son. Please stop." Repeat as necessary, not altering your words. She'll get tired of hearing the same sentences over and over again soon enough.
    via u/LoveBeach8
  • 13
    Open-Trouble-7264 And maybe go after the actual father to step up! Holy sh…..it should start there. Why is she having a child with this man!
    via u/Open-Trouble-7264
  • 14
    NoSignSays No Don't waste your time, if he doesn't want to parent, don't push him to do it, that's just harmful to the child. The insane part is insisting that OP should have to because 'bl d' while discounting the fact that baby daddy's brother, you know, OP's mirror image equivalent in relatedness, is almost chomping at the bit to step in as the exact kind of person sister is looking for.
    via u/NoSignSaysNo
  • 15
    Hedgehogahog Not only that, but OP and sis have another brother who is also willing to step up and pitch in. I almost wonder, by her drilling in on Fun Uncle, if she's casting these other men too, as like Big Important Uncle who does big things like teaching him power tools and taxes or whatever, and Sibling Experience Uncle where he can go to have other kids around. Also I just absolutely made those up.
    via u/Hedgehogahog
  • 16
    Friendly_Fall She wants as much free childcare as she can get, and 2 uncles is only 2/3 the uncles that 3 uncles is.
    via u/Friendly_Fall_
  • 17
    leyavin Or OP has more financial resources. "Fun uncle" is the guy who takes you to Disney and buys you a car when you are 16.
    via u/leyavin
  • 18
    justalittlepoodle She accused me of flaking out on my own bl d. NTA. She's barking up the wrong tree, why not say all this to the man she let impregnate her?
    via u/justalittlepoodle
  • 19
    ApprehensiveCream571 This is projection. What she wants from the father is what she's expecting of you. Her anger is also projection. It is her own fault for picking a father for her child. NTA.
    via u/ApprehensiveCream571
  • 20
    Bunny_Bixler99 NTA I'm the polite, distant uncle that sends checks for birthdays/holidays. (It helps that I live in a completely different time zone). The ones judging you saying you're the a/h must've
    via u/Bunny_Bixler99
  • 21
    missed the weird fixation your sister has on expecting YOU to be the primary sleepover/culture fix/mentor in HER child's life. Let me guess: you're single, independent, and probably have more disposable income than the other men in the family, correct?
    via u/Bunny_Bixler99
  • 22
    nanladu Sister does seem to be fixated on OP. Weird
    via u/nanladu
  • 23
    ArreniaQ I had 7 uncles, none of them were involved, I got birthday cards from one aunt and uncle, but the others never paid any attention to me. Lauren should have thought about the need for a decent father for her child before she decided to have a child with a guy who she knows won't be that. NTA.
    via u/ArreniaQ
  • 24
    yrcastr NTA. Your sister isn't entitled to your time, money, or whatever for a kid you had no role in bringing into this world. Not every family member needs to be a big figure in a kid's life. He has other male figures excited to do stuff with him. And also lots of kids have been raised by just women and turned out great. Hey, maybe in the future, you'll end up forming a bond with the kid and will want to hang out with him, but being forced won't be helpful.
    via u/yrcastr
  • 25
    silverandstuffs My sibling tried to force me into a bigger role in my niblings life. They wanted me to travel a 6 hour round trip to babysit my nibling once a month. Got upset whenever I tried to hold a boundary like not sleeping in the same bed or not letting them play with my collectibles. It's resulted in me pulling away and going low contact with all of my family because I've been made to feel like the bad guy
    via u/silverandstuffs
  • 26
    Bene1925 ΝΤΑ It's your life, and not your kid OP. Though maybe I'm a tad bias by saying that I completely understand why your sister would be kinda peeved at that because it seems like from her perspective she's hearing you say that you don't wanna get within a mile of the kid (even though that's not what you're saying). Maybe you two should talk and clarify what the two of you mean.
    via u/Bene1925
  • 27
    InnerChildGoneWild Yeah, sis is definitely pushy, but from her perspective, she wants to the best for her baby and has fond memories of growing up with OP. It makes sense that she'd want OP to have a relationship with her child. But she's really over the top and pushy about the whole thing which makes OP's firm boundary setting make sense.
    via u/InnerChildGoneWild

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Babies family drama baby mother crazy things parents say motherhood parenting dad uncle family reddit thread Reddit mom single mom son parents Father
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